Translation into plain English No idea
Perpetrator Angela Ahrendts, Burberry
Usage example "In the wholesale channel, Burberry exited doors not aligned with brand status and invested in presentation through both enhanced assortments and dedicated, customised real estate in key doors."
Lucy’s commentary This meets the most important criterion for jargon - it is utterly impenetrable. What are all these doors? Has Burberry acquired Travis Perkins building supplies? And what is an enhanced assortment? As for all those other words - channel, aligned, enhanced, dedicated, key - they are all clichés, but to put so many of them together in such a short space takes great skill.