Lucy Kellaway’s dictionary of business jargon and corporate nonsense
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Translation into plain English Meaningless

Perpetrator UBS private dining rooms

Usage example "At UBS we promote a corporate culture that adheres to the highest ethical standards across all areas of our business. Our commitment to excellence in all we do, combined with a desire to understand and fulfil our clients' requirements translates into our client dining experience. That is why, where possible, our menus are crafted from the finest seasonal produce which is ethically sourced, organic and unsurpassed in quality and value. Just like our business."

Lucy’s commentary No organisation should ever announce in public that it is ethical. There is hardly a company left that does not do this, but it makes no sense. First, to do so is meaningless - what business would ever boast that it was unethical? Even sillier is to up the ante and claim not merely to be ethical but to have the "highest ethical standards". What are these? Are they meant to be the ones Mother Teresa would aspire to? If so, they would make most normal business activities quite impossible. They would mean never hiring anyone if you thought you might ever have to fire them and never trading with any other company for fear of contagion.

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