Lucy Kellaway’s dictionary of business jargon and corporate nonsense
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Growing and winning (the Shell song)

Translation into plain English Gagging and wincing

Perpetrator Royal Dutch Shell

Usage example "We have moved on, growing day by day/Sharing strengths, we practise what is best/We are all a part of Shell's global family/Doing work aligned with everyone." (Sung to tune of "We are the World")

Lucy’s commentary Company Song So Awful I Was Positive It Was a Spoof Award 2006: a haunting mixture of psychobabble, sentimentality and business jargon. The song came from a team-building course in Asia, and is causing Shell's more buttoned-up executives in Europe to cringe as it gets e-mailed across the world to mass merriment. This is the curse of global communications: if you allow people in your company to express themselves freely you risk becoming the internet's next big laughing stock.

Related: Deliver

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