Guffipedia
Lucy Kellaway’s dictionary of business jargon and corporate nonsense
Hair management system
Translation into plain English Swimming cap
Perpetrator Speedo
Usage example "The first hydrodynamically efficient, easy to use and comfortable hair management system - turns long hair to your advantage, creating a smoother, more hydrodynamic profile."
Lucy’s commentary Runner up, 2013 Rebranded Common Object, awarded to a household item with an extravagant new name.