Lucy Kellaway’s dictionary of business jargon and corporate nonsense
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Life performance solutions

Translation into plain English Socks

Perpetrator Falke

Usage example “With the development of our new functional men‘s stock line ‘Life Performance Solutions’, FALKE has succeeded in innovatively applying future-oriented textile technologies, with positive impacts on health and everyday performance.” (Spotted by Shirley Fairall)

Lucy’s commentary A few years ago Speedo renamed a swimming cap a “hair management system.” Falke has gone way beyond this in claiming the humble sock will somehow provide a solution to life performance. It’s a shame that Falke has got so ahead of itself. It makes rather good socks that are worth the extra money as they don’t go bobbly in the washing machine.

Related: Hair management system

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