Lucy Kellaway’s dictionary of business jargon and corporate nonsense
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Loving the client

Translation into plain English Banker self-love

Perpetrator Jimmy Lee, JPMorgan Chase

Usage example "Call a client and tell them you love them - that we are there for them - that we are in this for the long term - not the next piece of business - for the duration - forever. They won't forget that you made this call."

Lucy’s commentary The late Jimmy Lee's 2003 memo was possibly the high watermark of corporate idiocy. Explicable - if not excusable - on the grounds that bankers were so high on vanity and money that they felt like God, and God loves everyone. I agreed 110 per cent with the last bit though. Clients certainly would not have forgotten the phone call.

Related: Raise the bar

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