Guffipedia
Translation into plain English You're fired
Perpetrator Arla Foods UK
Usage example “[Arla] is now taking the natural step to tighten its organisation through a restructure that will increase its focus on building its brands, up-weight its innovation and deliver even more for its customers. Arla has a good platform from which to operate and now plans to restructure its business so that it can further invest in its commercial and marketing areas as well as become more agile, efficient and competitive. As a result of this, Arla is proposing a reduction of around 100 positions.”
Lucy’s commentary This is the possibly the finest euphemism for firing someone I’ve ever come across. It seeks to trick the reader into missing the fact that 100 jobs are disappearing in three clever ways. First it is obscure. Second it sounds vaguely positive as up is better than down, and what is nicer than innovation? Most impressively it distracts by coining a clumsy and unneeded new nerb, or noun pretending to be a verb: the ugliness of "to up-weight" will deter everyone from reading on. Genius.
